I came to the office just after my morning coffee. I checked the
weather forecast, which was disappointing as usual. No matter, I
knew it would be a lot of guests circulating on this saturday. The
industrial area which we reside were slowly starting to move around.
The silence in the space where almost over voicing the idea of a room
I had yesterday. I start composing the daily choices of tunes. Breaking
off with Johnny Madsen, Uden for Säsonen (danish favourite, Out of
Warming up the copy machine to install freshly printed tourist folders
for all the curious faces I will meet . Of course NO command works
between the computer and print device today, and I constantly try to
locate the source of bad command.
Why doesn’t it want to print? The opening time slowly reaches the last
minute. I am loosing my control and sincerely wants to kick the hell
out of the device. Pulverize its stupid instrumental soul. Then….It
suddenly starts spitting out the double layered sheets and in color!
Perfect. I operate the surgical knife to remove all edges and cutting
A chilly wind from the ocean meets the preheated space, when i open up
the doors. I drag the opening sign out in front of a group of
unlookers. They study me and the sign for a moment hesitating for
whether to make an approach or not. They decide to move on. I pour my
fifth cup of coffee and hear footsteps behind me. My new colleague
Martin greats me with a huge but nervous smile. Where do we start he
asks me. Throw your coat. I say.
Martin picks up the freshly folded tourist folder, reading:
This activity is proper for the bold, one-time visitor, with no
intention to return or make any acquaintances worth saving. A huge
body mass is considered an advantage along with eating saucy food on
the run. The main focus should however be on the way you move your
carcass forward in public space. Gestures must be brusque and plump;
no sensitivity for other people can be involved in the act. Röv
meaning arse, there can be no doubt about how you must behave in every
given moment. Pay attention to details, if hesitating, release sounds
originated from this part of the body in a disgusting way.
It will work as a charm and make sure that you are left alone during your stay.